If you go to a surgeon for a critical operation, would you want her to rush? Likewise, if you go to a private chef for an omakase experience, would you want him to rush? While our fast-paced society often encourages us to do things quickly and rush through everything, it isn’t always to our benefit to rush. Rushing brings stress and anxiety to our lives – and for children who are learning to regulate their emotions, this is even more so.
Our academic system already promotes rushing
Our education system requires so much of students, in so little time.
The result? Students are rushed. Rushed through activities, through the syllabus, through worksheets, through lessons. I’ve never heard a student say that the teacher took their time to ensure that the class understood a concept thoroughly – because it simply isn’t possible.
Being in our academic system already means that kids are rushing all day long.
As fast-paced adults, we sometimes rush our kids too
Admittedly, it’s scary to see kids have nothing to do – we don’t want them to turn to screens out of boredom. And we want them to maximise their time. So we send them for activity after activity, class after class, in an effort to make sure they’re productive all the time. That includes any workshops or materials that I might provide to you as well.
But it means that they rush in school, and they rush at home.
Who will teach them to take their own time?
That means that nobody really teaches them to take their own time.
Because as kids, they learn to model their behaviour after the people around them – most importantly, adults.
But when no adult lets them take their own time, when no adult gives them the permission to do so – how will they learn how to do it without guilt, without shame?
Yes, you might see students lounging around, or lazing about. And it’s unlikely that it’s done mindfully or intentionally. It’s usually a result of exhaustion, a form of retaliation, or done with a heaping dose of guilt (knowing that it’ll be disapproved of by the adults around them).
Who will teach them to take their own time intentionally and mindfully, with full permission and awareness?
Why it’s important for them to learn to take their own time with certain things
I’m not advocating that kids are taught to take their time in an examination. In situations where there is a deadline or a time-based element, then of course a modicum of speed is required. Even as adults, we face deadlines, or we’re given a limited amount of time to accomplish certain tasks.
But not everything has to be rushed. There’s a reason we’re told to “stop and smell the roses”, after all.
Reading a book for leisure shouldn’t be a race to the end.
The enjoyment of a meal (I know, I know, some kids eat really slowly, but that’s different from enjoying a meal) shouldn’t be rushed.
Just simply playing with toys shouldn’t be a task that is hurried through.
When you take a step back, it’s not about dilly-dallying or taking your own sweet time.
It’s about being mindful and present in the moment.
Teaching kids how to truly be present
Our best work comes when we’re present. When our full attention is devoted to the task at hand. When we’re in the zone.
That applies to kids as well.
When they’re present, they do better in the tasks they’re working on. They study better. They learn better. They sleep better.
They get better grades.
And when they do things better, they tend to do things faster as well.
The benefit? Less time taken to do the very things that we’re rushing them to complete.
By not rushing our kids, we teach them how to eventually do things faster
It may sound horrible – that the motivation or objective behind telling kids not to rush, is so that they save time. It’s also ironic in its own way.
But it’s also the key to a better life. To being more efficient. To giving them more time to spend on the things that matter to them, by being present and accomplishing the tasks they have to do.
So the next time you’re thinking of rushing a kid through something, take a step back. Perhaps it might be better to get them to concentrate, to focus, to be mindful instead.
They’ll end up doing it faster.
Fun to be Smart 
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